Marvelous Truth in Advertising

Just in case you can't read the can: Mushy Processed Peas.

The receipt said only Mushy Peas.

For 19 pence I thought the can would provide a nice paragraph or two for your enjoyment. We went to a store today called Lidl. The website (www.lidl.co.uk) looked promising. Steve had even heard his coworkers talk about it for a couple of days this week. They were all enthusiastic about the wonderful deals and interesting things one could purchase. Food, electronics, tents...the inventory apparently changes with each new shipment. So we thought it would be a fun adventure for the afternoon. Morning info later.

We decided to go to the store in Newbury (west of here about 15 miles) instead of the one in Reading because it's in a dodgy part of town. After dodging many cyclists in some kind of race, we arrived. The cyclists here are nuts. They ride out in the middle of the lane in the middle of all sorts of traffic conditions. Since there are no shoulders here they don't have much choice, but I wish they'd make the choice to ride somewhere other than where I'm driving. But I digress.

We get to Lidl and everything looks fine until I see that the carts are all locked up together. Each cart has a lock and a flat key on a chain that fits into the locking unit on the cart nested next to it in the little cart hang-out area in front of the store. You have to put a pound coin in to get the key out, but you get the pound back when you park it and put another key in your lock. Hmmm. Dodgy.

We go in to a non air-conditioned store that's eerily silent. No music. No Muzak. No people talking. No children screaming. Nobody was talking to anybody else except in hushed tones. It was like a funeral home or something. Anyway - they have food items out on shelves and pallets and they have a small produce section and a cooler and freezer area. They had all the typical grocery store sections plus a middle aisle of what I would call "junk" - seat covers and cheap trainers (athletic shoes) and bubbles and stuff. A few electronic things - radios and sanders.

We ended up with £14 of stuff - including the mushy processed peas. We also got some granola bars and napkins. I can't find napkins anywhere! Just paper towels - or "kitchen rolls" as they call them here. So we got a pack of green and a pack of pink. And more Indian food. Surprised?

When we got to the checkout, I saw that their grocery bags were 3p each. The little plastic bags of which we have already accumulated about 354, cost money at this store. How annoying! So I had Steve go back and grab a box out of a pile of boxes we saw back beside the pink toilet paper that had a picture of a kitten on the packaging (?). I'm not going to pay money for more of those plastic annoyances.

Overall I was disappointed with the trip to Lidl. I wasn't expecting Sam's Club, but I guess I had high expectations. I mean, they don't have the room to build superstores like that all over the place, but I guess I was expecting higher quality. Or more stuff. Maybe I *was* expecting Sam's. Oh well.

Backing up to this morning, we took the kids to see "Cars." It only came out yesterday here. I must say that it was much better than I anticipated. I sat between the big kids and I really enjoyed Caleb's reactions to the different parts of the movie. The part when Lightning McQueen falls out of the truck was the best - Caleb kept saying, "No! No!" Not sad or anything, just excited at the progression of the movie. I am very proud of him also because he chose the best part of the movie to be his favorite - when the hero sacrifices his chance at winning to help a hurt competitor.

Even earlier than the movie, Caleb had a good one. Actually, he had 2 good ones today. During my breakfast, he had been aggravating Audrey, so I had him in time out. He had managed to engage Steve in conversation (I was ignoring both boys), and when Steve said something like, "Where is that good Caleb from yesterday?" Caleb said, "He's on holiday." HA HA HA! Later in the morning before we left, Audrey was acting up. Steve was trying to talk to her when Caleb butted in and was telling her what her punishment would be if she didn't straighten up. Steve told Caleb to mind his own business and Caleb turned back to his card game. Steve glanced over in time to hear Caleb as he said to his playing cards, "Cards, if you don't behave and straighten up, you won't get to go to the movie." Then he saw Steve looking at him and said, "I was just talking to my cards." What a goober!

Steve really enjoyed the fact that "Cars" is a very American movie. The setting, the driving, the jokes. There were some really funny bits that didn't get much laughter except from us.

I now have the barking seal cough. At the Lidl store I found some cough medicine for those "chesty coughs." I won't comment on the obvious there. Anyway, the label said that it was appropriate for 3 years and up, so I grabbed it. Before dinner, Audrey and I took a dose. I knew something would taste bizarre when I saw that it was thick and dark brown and smelled like licorice. So Audrey and I did the "bottoms up" thing and swigged our medicine very quickly at the same time. I didn't want her to see my reaction before she took her dose. Then I read the label. Besides the obvious stuff to loosen the chest congestion, it has treacle. I kid you not. Treacle. What is treacle besides nasty tasting? And 2 different types of anise seed flavoring - licorice.

Ok - I just looked up treacle online and discovered it's related to molasses. I love molasses, so I'm going to assume the nastiness is the licorice, and I rescind everything slanderous I said about treacle.

DARN FIREWORKS DELINQUENTS!!!

It's 9.55 p.m. and there are fireworks going off. And it's sprinkling. And Julie just woke up. Darn delinquents.

Speaking of weather - it was actually nice today. Around 24, breezy and cloudy. Very nice. I think that's what it's supposed to be like this time of year.

I'm going to go now because my chesty cough is bothering me. I want to go to bed and read my British version of "Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince." So far there are some interesting differences. What is the spelling of the last name of the new Minister of Magic in the US version? In this book it's Scrimgeour. Plus in one part they talk about the area of London called "Elephant and Castle." I know that wasn't in the US version. Plus I've learned that the man who reads the stories on the audio versions over here isn't Jim Dale. It's Stephen Fry. He's an actor that Steve and I discovered recently in an older BBC series called "Jeeves and Wooster." He's Jeeves.

Oh - one more question: In "Cars" is the voice of Lightning's agent a British voice? It was British here and I'm just wondering if Jeremy Piven did the Brit accent or if they did a switcheroo on us. Also - was there a short before the movie? Was it "One Man Band?"

April

P.S. About the Mushy Processed Peas - I noticed that the people behind us in line at Lidl also had a tin of the stuff. Scrummy dinner for them! (scrummy=yummy)