Sunday Morning

Yesterday I took Audrey to the doctor. Seems she has the croup. This is the first time any of my 3 have gotten it. The doctor prescribed a short course of steroids - twice a day for 3 days - and after just 2 doses yesterday she is already sounding better.

But apparently one of the side effects of steroids is "roid rage" - well, that's what they called it on an episode of CSI or Law & Order or some show like that. It makes kids moody. "Moody" + "Audrey" = extra fun for everyone!

She slept in a sleeping bag in our room last night for three reasons: 1 - so we could keep tabs on the coughing, 2 - our room is closer to the big humidifier, and 3 - her room stinks because we painted it. It's "Pink Ice" and coordinates beautifully with a castle sticker-type mural we bought at Lowe's on Friday.

So today's Moody Audrey story begins with the castle. After she ate breakfast, she informed Steve she was going to get her castle from the laundry room. She brought it into our room to show me. The mural itself is 28 inches wide by 36 inches tall, but it's in 3 sections and the sections are rolled up in a clear plastic box. I took the sticker sections out of the box and told her that she could hold the cardboard packaging that has two different pictures of the castle. Usually this would make little Magpie Girl happy, but not today. She declared that this part was trash and she didn't want to hold it. She wanted to hold the castle stickers. I told her that the stickers needed to lay flat and unroll for a while, which really threw her into a tailspin.

She threw a wobbly to rival the "Pink Hat Tantrums" of Paris. She began crying at 8:00 and was still crying when Caleb and I left for church at almost 9. But by then she had moved on to other tear-worthy things. Like a picture for Pastor Chuck.

To try to divert her from the castle, I suggested that she get her new fairy coloring book and color a picture for Pastor Chuck. That made the tears slow down a little. She settled herself on my bed and started to color while I was drying my hair. Next thing I know, the paper is ripping and she's crying again. This time she tore the corner off the page while she was trying to tear the picture out of the book and wanted me to fix it. But she couldn't find the right place in the book to get the remnant of the paper, so she started crying again. By this time I was working on my makeup and had cosmetics all over my hands. I don't really want to mess with a coloring book or tape.

Then she decides she doesn't want to look for the rest of the page. She just wants to lament the loss of it. More tears.

Skipping past more tears, I'll come to the part that made me laugh. Inwardly, though. To laugh in the face of "Moody Audrey" is like messing around with Jim. Audrey could have been added to the lyrics of "You Don't Mess Around With Jim" ...

You don't tug on Superman's cape
You don't spit into the wind
You don't pull the mask off the old Lone Ranger
And you don't mess around with Jim

After Slim kicks Jim's rear in the final verse, Audrey could have been introduced into the lyrics to then school Slim.

But I digress.

So I'm laughing inwardly because she starts telling Steve that I ruined her picture. To spite her. To mock her. To make her life miserable. I didn't tape it back together just to ruin the picture. It's actually a "Fairy Maze," but it's ruined nonetheless. Forget the fact that I don't have both pieces *to* tape together. It's still my fault.

Finally she finds the teeny tiny corner she tore off and I taped it back on the paper. Then she colors maybe 2 square inches (not even where it was torn) and declares the picture done.

As I'm gathering up stuff to go to church, she starts wailing again because she wants to see Pastor Chuck. She starts babbling about other people staying home (never mind that's *she's* the sick one) and her going to church.

So P.C., I hope you like your picture. It's production was a true tragedy. Artists are so seldom appreciated in their own time.