The Mystery of the Ice

Saturday afternoon Audrey had been banished to her room for losing her tickets. So, too, had Caleb. We told them they could either play in their rooms or go play outside. Caleb chose to play in his room, but Audrey chose to go outside.

I was sitting here in the office when I heard Steve make a loud exclamation from the back porch. It wasn't one of those words they substitute &%$#@ for in the funny papers, but it was spoken in such a voice that I knew something was wrong.

Our back porch was covered in ice. Our COVERED back porch was covered in ice.

Steve thought at first that a water pipe had broken on the back side of the house, but quickly discovered that the faucet was turned on a quarter of a turn. The last time anyone had been outside in the backyard was Tuesday or Wednesday.

We got both big kids in the living room and told them this: we knew that one of them had turned the water on. We wanted to know who did it. If neither kid fessed up, both would get 5 spankings (our usual maximum for spankings is 3). If the guilty party confessed, they would only get 2 spankings, unless they continued to lie about it, then he or she would get an extra swat for lying.

Caleb began panicking immediately. After a couple of minutes I was convinced he didn't do it. Plus I knew that he hadn't been out back in a week.

So we turn our attention to Audrey who immediately says, "I guess I'll just take my 5 spankings," with a straight face and no emotion. It was scary. At that point I knew she was the guilty one. Plus, she had been outside Tuesday or Wednesday to play in the snow.

Steve begins to grill her about it and she keeps denying it and even goes so far as to suggest Julie did it (she doesn't accuse Caleb because he's in the room). Finally Steve tries a different approach and asks her why she did it.

"I wanted ice."

Lovely. She wanted ice. Then she asks Steve, "Daddy, how did you know I did it?" He thinks because you just told me with that question but instead says, "Parents know things." Good answer. So instead of the 5 spankings she was prepared to take instead of confessing, she gets the 2 plus one for lying because we had to interrogate it out of her.

A little while later I look outside to see what she's doing. Audrey is playing on her ice.